You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
