No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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