i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize