the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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