I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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