Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
