After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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