so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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