sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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