Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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