I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
