tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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