My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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