i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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