You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
