Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
