I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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