woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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