fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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