sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
