omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
