I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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