Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
