literally had 100 drinks last night.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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