We're like a lot better than the average bears
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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