i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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