R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My penis needs a shock collar
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
