Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So much Jack, so little girl.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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