Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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