there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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