Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
