Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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