Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
