I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
