it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
