My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She said her name was "party"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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