ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
