Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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