How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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