dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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