I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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