You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
