I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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