If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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