drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize