I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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