is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
