You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
