Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
