OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
