Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
