Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
