No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
