Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
