ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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