Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
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Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
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According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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